Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
