Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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