dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
