I bet he comes in French.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
