i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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