i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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