she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
