Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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