Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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