I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
