they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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