I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
