I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
