Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
