you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
