I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
