So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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