how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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