yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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