You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
