Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
