He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
