Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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