does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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