I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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