So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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