We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
