My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
