Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
