My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
