I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
