just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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