Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
