I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
