his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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