So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
