They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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