Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
