okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
