I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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