I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
