i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
