I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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