Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
