super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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