You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
