i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
