Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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