Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
