actually, I'm a sock model
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
