I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
