Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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