Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
