I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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