my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
