The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
