I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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