I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
