Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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