If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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