How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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